Tag Archives: Intimate relationship

How much sex is enough?

1 Jul

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2283872/Rowan-Pellings-sex-advice-column-Im-jealous-friends-sex-life.html

QUESTION: A good friend is always going on about how much sex she has with her husband.  I’ve been with my partner for 14 years — like my pal and her spouse — and we’re lucky if we make love once a month (although it’s great when it happens). I’d blame it on our kids, but my friend has children, too. How can I stop feeling inadequate by comparison?

Frustrated

Dear Frustrated,

The issue isn’t your friend.  Him bragging is just the catalyst.  If he was an avid golfer and you didn’t much care for the sport would him bragging about his golfing performance bother you?  Probably not.  So the issue is he has touched on a subject that is a sore spot for you.  Presumably because YOU ONLY GET LAID ONCE A MONTH.

The tone of your note suggests you would prefer more physical intimacy.  I suspect most people have physical desires for more than once a month sex.  Have you discussed this with your partner?  Do you know why you two don’t make time for one of the most fun, free connected activities with incredible health benefits?  You wouldn’t feel inadequate if you were happy with once a month sex. So go address the real root cause of the issue and have a conversation with your partner.  You should also stop being mad at your friend who just gets laid more than you but really means you no ill will and .   Good luck.

Poly

If you would like a personal question answered directly please send me an email at dearpoly@gmail.com  I’d love to hear from you!

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Two guys but not enough connection!

24 Jun

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2331232/Rowan-Pellings-sex-advice-column-Neither-lovers-want-proper-relationship.html

QUESTION: I’ve been dating two men for the past year – with their knowledge. Neither wants a full-time relationship (all three of us divorced recently, so are still bruised). I know I should feel lucky with two lovers, but I’m starting to feel torn about having sex with one man, then another, with nothing deeper developing. What should I do?

Lucky

Dear Lucky

The problem isn’t the number of lovers you have.  I have had three truly intimate loving shared connections in my life at the same time at let me tell you it was fucking terrific.  The problem is that all three of you have been scarred and started the relationship from a state when you didn’t want to risk a lot of emotional intimacy.  Time has healed some of that for you and you are ready for more.  Sit them down and see if they have healed as you have and might be willing to take the plunge on a deeper connection.  Hopefully one or even better yet both will be interested.  Good luck,

Poly

If you would like a personal question answered directly please send me an email at dearpoly@gmail.com  I’d love to hear from you!