Crappy sex, should I leave?

3 Jul

QUESTION: My sex life with my boyfriend of a year is dull because he only ever wants to have sex in the same position. I’ve tried to talk to him about it, but he shies away from intimate conversations. I love him and don’t want to end the relationship, but I can’t bear such routine love-making.


Dear Bored,

It’s sad when people have trouble addressing issues.  I think this is one that should be workable.  Have you told him how important it is that you have a fulfilling sex life?  This is different than suggesting different positions.  You need to make sure he understands the importance of the issue for you and that it may soon become a deal breaker.  How much experience does he have?  Is it significantly different than yours?  Maybe is self-conscious due to lack of experience.  It’s difficult for lots of people to talk about intimate acts.  I’m particularly talkative both during and after because I feel like communication aids you ability to become a fulfilling lover.  However for some of my lovers it’s very new to talk about sex at all.

Some people might feel like bad sex isn’t worth leaving a relationship over.  Personally I think unless you are in an open relationship when you can get your physical needs met elsewhere bad sex is a definite deal breaker.  Don’t feel bad for needing more than he is able to provide if it ends up going this way.  Good luck,


If you would like a personal question answered directly please send me an email at  I’d love to hear from you!


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