Definition of a successful relationship

12 Jun

What is the bar set at for a successful relationship?  Generally a successful relationship in the mono world (and sometimes the poly world) is that it last forever.  Anything short of life mates is considered a failure in the holy grail quest for a life partner.  It’s very difficult to meet this bar.  I think we are better off redefining our expectations about successful relationships to include short relationships.  Very few relationships can last forever and defining everything else as failure is incredibly negative.

I would define successful relationships as one where you are able to be yourself and interact in a ethical, responsible and mature fashion.  You get a chance to be yoursefl and connect with someone on an emotional and hopefully physical level.  If the relationship ends, the separation isn’t full of bile and ugly feelings (which mostly is accomplished through being responsible and mature DURING the relationship).  If all those conditions are satisfied I can look back fondly at the relationship.  I can have fond memories of our good times together and the experience of getting to know a new person.  Hopefully I’ll minimize the incompatibilities and negative aspects of the relationship.  With this more forgiving definition I’ll be excited to experience the next successful relationship.

Poly

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