The crushing weight of monogamous first dates

11 Jun

Picture a nice first coffee date.  You got all dressed up to meet a guy you met online.  You had some good conversation and he was super hot with his bald head and construction worker hard body.  On the way home you start thinking, could I bring this person home to Mom?  Can I see myself having children with him?  What about religion? Do we have compatible attitudes towards finance?  If you are monogamous some of these questions run through your head for EVERY guy you date.  Since you only get to have one life partner there really isn’t room for dating anyone other than someone who fits all the really important categories for you.

Thank god I’m poly.  I believe in organic relationships.  This means I let relationships evolve into whatever they were meant to be without imposing artificial culturally prescribed structures onto them.  In poly you can have a serious long term partner who you bring home to parents and have children with.  But you also get to have a lover you see once a month on business trips, a weekly dancing + sex date and any other permutation you can think of that you want.  When I go on a first date I’m just looking to have a good time.  The relationship might end there or it might go on for months or forever.  The expectations are much more reasonable and rational than the expectations of a monogamous person (whether they are consciously recognized or not).  Cheers to all those who already have experienced the joy of an expectationless first date!

Poly

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