Twenty-five with zero relationship experience

2 Jun

http://www.wayneandtamara.com/LookingForLove.htm

Someday My Prince…

I’m a woman, 25, who’s never had a boyfriend.  I’m educated, from a good family, with friends both male and female, and I’m not ugly either.

I feel I’ve been overlooked somehow.  I’m beginning to wonder if it’s going to happen.  Should I leave it to fate, or make an effort at getting a boyfriend?  But then, there isn’t anyone I’m interested in right now.

Bobbi

Dear Bobbi,

You have a lot of fantastic and terrible experiences waiting for you.  25 years old with zero boyfriends is like you are 25 and have never gone to school.  How much would that hold you back in terms of career, finances and life goals?  You are illiterate at the moment in relationships.

“I feel I’ve been overlooked somehow.  I’m beginning to wonder if it’s going to happen.  Should I leave it to fate?”  You talk like dating is some sort of mythical beast that you have to stumble across?  There is no prince charming waiting to rescue you.  Dating isn’t difficult to start.  Find three people who has some shared interest with you (sports, gardening, career).  Ask them if they (individually) would like to get coffee or dinner sometime.  Note I did not say find someone you think is really hot or really funny or really whatever.  Some of those things may turn out to be important to you but other things you can’t think of will also turn out to be critical to making you happy.  What you need most at 25 with zero experience is to get out there and figure out what you like.  You just don’t know anything about yourself relative to dating and relationships.  You have no idea how encompassing and overwhelming first love and sex can be.

“But then, there isn’t anyone I’m interested in right now.”  This sounds like a complete bullshit rationalization.  You need to put yourself out there.  Fall in love.  Have hot mad sweaty sex.  Make lots of mistakes.  Have your heart broken into a thousand pieces.  Once you have learned more about yourself you will be in a position to really move forward and find a good life mate who is deeply compatible with the qualities you know are important to you.  Good luck,

Poly

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